Saturday, May 8, 2010

Straight from the Heart

So, this is kinda awkward, but here we go! Before my cruise I was taking a little cruise myself down to the Barnes and Noble. I was searching for a good read. I almost gave up when I came across this: Now folks, I know you won't care unless A) you're East Indian or B) you're adopted....and Yep. I am BOTH those things.
This book is about a young Indian woman who has to give up her baby girl. She doesn't tell her husband, but she makes a journey by foot, to another city so her daughter can have a life. This is her second baby girl, the first one, the husband "did away with." P.S.- Girls are nothing in the Indian culture. Its the Boys that are wanted- they represent wealth. If only I could tell them what I learned about the effects of women in church today!

Anyways, ALL the time I am wondering about my OWN birth mother. Birth mother is the more appropriate term to use! I hate hate hate when people say, "real mom." "Do you know your real mom?" They ask.
The mom that raised me, loved me, cared for me, supported me, gave me courage, enriched my life with opportunities and loves me over and over again is my REAL mom!

Reading what this birth mother went through, and the feelings she had giving up her baby girl really hit home. I always find myself wondering what my roots were. Where did I get my personality, my features, who did I get my great sense of humor from.. JK! but really, on my birthday I always wonder if she's even still alive, does she remember me on that August 6 day!
Finding this book was a tender mercy. It was a confirmation to a prayer that I hadn't been seeking an answer for, but that answered my heart anyways.

Having been back to India made this book that much more amazing. I could relate to SO many things.

The young baby (her name is ASHA....(means HOPE) another similarity: that's MY Middle name- the orphanage I was at for the first 3 months of my life named me "baby Asha." (I was adopted at 3 months, weighing a whopping 5 lbs. They took super good care of their babies. We were spoiled. Another blessing, I was placed in an orphanage that WANTED people to adopt their babies. (Was called, International Mission of Hope) In Mother Theresa's orphanages, babies have to be turned down by SEVEN different Indian families before their adoption can go International....They would rather have the baby stay within an Indian family....see all these blessings I have been given.....

Back to the story: the girl that was sent to live in an orphanage travels back to India. She was adopted by an American family, altho her father was East Indian. She talked about finally fitting in. Trying to learn about her culture. Fitting in for once, amid a crowd of brown skinned people was a neat experience for me. Feeling like I didn't stand out, but just mixed in with everyone else was something I got to experience! And. I. Loved. It. Sometimes I forget that I am different. Im as American as you can get, and often forget Im in the minority!

I am interested in my East Indian culture. It's funny. some of my friends, who aren't East Indian by the way, are the ones that introduced me to Indian food. I am loving it....the two dishes I dare to try! If I was more sure of myself I would prance around in this: Ok, not really, but I do have some, and they are beautiful. But once again, Im working on NOT standing out!
Anyways, thanks for letting me share my heart. It is NO coincidence I am where I am. I was MEANT to be with my mother. I am truly BLESSED.

Had some pics from India on my computer....if you want, take a look:
Typical scenes of Calcutta, India. The first pic is of SHANTY'S. Houses made of whatever they can find.


The Beautiful Taj Mahal. Don't judge my outift. We were told not to bring jeans on this trip, but comfy, breezy, light pants....


My SAME social worker that picked me up
from the "Birthing Center" and brought me to
the orphange place, (IMH) then, 17 years ago.
Incredible I know!
Our tourguide- New Years Eve.

Holding babies at IMH

Coming to this place had always been a dream of mine...It finally happened.
The International Mission of Hope.


We believe this was me. Some lady from the adoption agency took a picture of me for my mother, showing her what her "new daughter" looked like.

There ya have it! Now you've seen India....

4 comments:

sexychoco said...

Kai, I love the post! I am now going to read the book! See what you did? ;) Kai, you are such a blessed girl, but I am more blessed to have the opportunity to have you as my friend. Honestly!
Cold cuts?! ;) haha...Love ya!!

Marian said...

Thanks for sharing! It was fun to see those pics of you in India.

Amber Eggli said...

Kaija, that is AMAZING! I'm so glad you found that book and were able to take the trip back to India. How great! I will have to check out the book since i was also adopted. Thanks for the book review and story:)

MissiMay said...

This post simply made me cry. I loved seeing you in India. You are so gorgeous Kaija! You have such a tender heart, and I know where you go that from! Thanks for posting this! I love it! ;o)